3 Common Blocks to Happiness

That are keeping you stuck.

discover these 3 common blocks to happiness and fulfilment that are keeping you stuck in your current state of discontent.

The boom of the personal development industry has brought with it a deeper quest for happiness and fulfilment.

People are trying so hard to improve themselves, find their purpose, and live their best lives, and if you are reading this blog, then I’m assuming you’re also on this journey.

Maybe this quest has led you to try yoga or meditation, to explore Chakras and Ayurveda, or to buy yourself some Tarot cards and crystals (sustainably sourced ones I hope!).

These are all great ways to explore yourself, the world around you, and a Higher meaning in life.

But I see so many people focussing so desperately on these practices that they often miss some of the key blocks to happiness that are keeping them stuck.

The main reasons most people are unhappy and unfulfilled is NOT because they are broken (read more on this in my blog ‘You are NOT broken, but…‘).

It’s because they lack the self-worth to know they are enough, the self-confidence to go after what they want and the self-belief to believe that they can do it.

This is exactly why I have dedicated so much of my life, and my business, to supporting people with their self-love journeys. Self-Love is the key to believing you are enough and to living a life of magic, meaning and self-mastery.

There is a voice in your head continually filling you with thoughts that you are not good enough, that you don’t deserve to be happy, and that you will never have it all. It’s time to reclaim this precious real estate in your mind!

Most of us have a voice inside our head that speaks to us. Call it your Higher Self, your Inner Being, the Divine, or something more sinister like your Inner Critic, your Monkey Mind, or maybe it’s even a voice of someone you love or that’s been overly critical of you. We all have one.

This voice has the power to be a kind benevolent voice that supports you living your most wildly aligned life, but it also has the power to hold you hostage, beat you down, and keep you small.

If you have the latter voice, the type that is continually filling you with negative thoughts, then so much of the good work you do on yourself will be in vain.

I see far too many incredible people not fulfiling their potential due to their inner critic holding them back.

I know you have so much to offer the world, I know you are capable of making a huge impact in this world – I see you. It’s time to tackle this head on – the world needs you!

Devoting at least some of your practice and attention on this aspect can be some of the most powerful work you ever do. It’s time to reclaim this precious real estate in your mind!

For support with this, check out my self-led course – Calm your Inner Critic.

You constantly flick between toning yourself down and making yourself small, while also trying to prove yourself capable and burning yourself out in the process. It’s time to stop people-pleasing and step into your true self.

It sounds contradictory to feel you are not enough AND too much at the same time, but I see so many powerful people with this internal battle, distracting them from living an authentic and wholehearted life.

When we feel we are not enough we have a tendency to lean towards perfectionism, people-pleasing, and not being able to say ‘no’. This leads to us taking on too much, violating our own boundaries, and becoming overwhelmed and burned out.

When stuck in the not-enoughness of life, you will constantly try to prove yourself worthy of the people, opportunities and things in your life.

Never trusting that you are loved unconditionally, and permanently terrified that if you aren’t perfect at all times, everyone will leave you and you will be left alone in this world.

Equally, when you feel you are too much for people, or you have constantly been told to be quiet or to stop being dramatic or overreacting, you end up toning yourself down, making yourself small, and becoming a lesser version of yourself.

You try not to make a fuss about things that matter to you, you often keep your opinion to yourself for fear of offending someone, and you rarely tell people around you if they have upset or hurt you.

These characteristics derive from a lack of self-worth and belief that you are not lovable as you are. That loving you is completely conditional. Conditional on you being the person they want you to be at all times.

The antidote for this is moving into a place of acceptance of who you really are and that it is impossible to please everyone. So, you might as well start pleasing yourself – life is a lot more fun this way too!

So much of your brain capacity is taken up with negative thoughts and self-deprecation. But the best way to reduce negativity, is actually to increase positivity.

It’s time to re-focus on fun, play and positive vibes!

When working on eliminating negative thoughts, I see a lot of people focusing on this exact thing – how to eliminate the negative thoughts.

But the most effective (and fun!) way to do this is to simply increase the positive.

We all have a limited capacity for thinking throughout the day, let’s use 100% to represent this. If 75% of your thoughts are negative (which is statistically likely), then 25% of your thoughts will be positive or neutral.

If you work to reduce this 75% negative, you will actually just be left with a void space, with nothing in it at all. This isn’t really possible so it’s likely the void will just become filled up again with negative thoughts.

Afterall, where is your energy focussed when you’re thinking ‘don’t think negative thoughts, don’t think negative thoughts‘. That’s right, it’s focussing exactly on that, the negative thoughts!

However, if you focus your attention on increasing positive thoughts and experiences – reading inspirational books, spending time with fun people, or watching reels of silly animals videos – then this 25% will begin to increase, in turn, decreasing the percentage available for negative thoughts to creep in.

So, instead of focussing on reducing the negative, just focus on increasing the positive. This is a much more fun way to live!

I now invite you to consider all the ways in which you can begin to increase the positive in your life. It can help to make a list of all the things you do in your life that bring you joy, that make you smile, and that put you into a positive mindset.

If you start sinking into thoughts of ‘I don’t have time for this‘, then consider writing a list of unhealthy, toxic, or just plain boring things that you can remove from your life in order to free up more space for the good. See, there really is no excuse!