For better or worse, humans are creatures of habit. We can use this to our advantage, or let it be to our detriment.
Most of our daily decisions are made almost instantaneously, using our subconscious minds, which are subsequently governed by our habits, routines and automatic nature.
Research suggests that on average, 70% of our thoughts each day are the same as those from the previous one, and 40% of our behaviours and actions are repeated daily.
Doesn’t it make sense then, to use this knowledge to our advantage and build up positive habits and thoughts that support the person we want to be and the life we want to live?
There are many well-known quotes out there about the power of daily habit, and tons of research to back them up.
It is no coincidence that many incredibly happy and successful people have built a powerful daily routine, and stuck to it, for years or even decades of their lives. Upgrading it as their needs and desires evolve.
This list includes Maya Angelou, Arianna Huffington, Cameron Diaz, Kate Middleton, Tony Robbins, Barack Obama, Charles Darwin, and William Shakespeare, to name a few!
“Self-love is just a muscle; exercise it regularly, and it will grow stronger. And exercise is just a habit you need to commit to. Immersing yourself in something regularly creates a habit within you – and what better habit to commit to than loving yourself?”
– Bella Luna, Entangled No More.
I always say that Self-Love is the gift that keeps on giving, and in my previous blog ‘Why is Self-Love Important?’, we discussed some of the many ways in which loving yourself is a gift.
Self-love empowers and motivates you to make better choices, pursue healthier paths, be proactive about your well-being, and remove unhealthy things from your life.
Loving yourself encourages you to seek out more supportive relationships and remove toxic people from your life. It helps you put up boundaries, allowing you to free up space and protect your precious energy.
Self-love eliminates a lot of fear and self-doubt, making space for you to go after what you want and make your dreams come true. It helps you see what you deserve, and creates a brighter lens for you to view the world with.
Self-Love psychology requires us to do things daily in order to change your mindset and build your self-love habits. The power of self-love is in the increments – regularly making yourself a priority.
1. A good nights sleep
I know myself well enough to know that lack of sleep is a fast-track route to emotional instability for me. When I’m super tired, I have reduced emotional resilience and a diminished capacity to withstand challenges and triggers.
That’s why, I try to get a good nights sleep as often as possible, so that when inevitable unexpected sleep disturbances crop up, I’m well rested either side.
A good nights sleep will differ from person to person. Studies show that between 6-8 hours is good on average, whereas for me it’s more like 8-10!
2. Early mornings
I like to get up early Monday-Friday so that I feel productive and chilled. I hate feeling rushed and I put high value on my morning routine which can take 2-3 hours. But I often have a lay in on the weekends to catch up and stock up!
Early for me is 6-7am depending on the season!
3. Affirmations
I listen to affirmations last thing before bed, as I sleep, first thing in the morning, during my yoga practice and at various times of the day.
Due to my mental health challenges and history of trauma, I have experienced very long periods stuck in negative thought patterns, heightened cynicism, and intense self-doubt.
I know the power of the mind and I try as hard as I can to positively influence mine wherever possible. I refuse to be held back in life and so I want to make the most of the time and resources I have, hence the affirmations during sleep!
4. Gratitude journalling
I have been hit and miss with my gratitude practice over the last few years. But when I took the time to reflect on those different periods, I noticed that without a doubt I was happier, more productive and more successful during the times I had a daily gratitude practice. It’s here for life now!
I know myself well enough to realise I struggle with accountability in this area, so using a regular notebook doesn’t do it for me. I like to spend a little extra money (because I’m worth it!) and buy a fancy gratitude journal with inspirational quotes, challenges, and reflections for me to dig into.
5. Yoga
It’s funny because Yoga was the first intentional self-love habit I developed despite not knowing much about it, having zero training in the field, disliking group classes and having mixed feelings about the Yoga industry in general (that’s another conservation for another time!).
BUT, I will say that my personal, private, tailored Yoga routine has been the foundation of my morning routine for over 4 years now and my day is never the same when I skip it.
I tweak it sometimes depending on the needs of my body, and when my day is super busy or I have to get up ridiculously early for a flight, I might sack off the rest of my morning routine but I almost always make time for my Yoga.
6. Movement – shaking / dancing
Dancing has always been my thing, I was dancing as soon as I could walk! So, naturally dance, or some form of movement, is a regular self-love habit of mine. Especially as it incorporates so many different aspects of wellness e.g. dance, music, joy, fun, play, high vibes, moving stagnant or stuck energy, exercise, fitness…
The way movement manifests in my daily habits is a fluid thing. Sometimes I just put on a single favourite song and dance for 5 minutes, other times I’ll put on a playlist of faves and have a mini rave.
As a Chakra Dancing Therapist, sometimes I do a mini Chakra Dancing session for myself. Other times I just stand and shake my body to move the energy around.
7. Connection
This self-love habit is a little less clear cut, and crops up in my daily life in varying ways.
Sometimes it shows up in prayer form, talking to the Universe, sending love and appreciation, expressing my pain, sharing my dreams and desires.
Other times it’s connecting with a loved one, if not in person then over the phone. Oftentimes it can be simply connecting with myself, my body, my Higher Self, in some way.
When it comes to getting started and setting yourself up for success, there are two ways you can approach this – give yourself what you know you need, and playful experimentation.
When choosing your self-love habits, it helps if you know yourself – your needs, desires, triggers, challenges, existing habits and patterns.
This will help you in discerning the most supportive practices to implement.
Take my first self-love habit for example, I know sleep deprivation leads to a reduced capacity to deal with life’s day-to-day challenges, so I ensure I get a good nights sleep almost every night.
There are two different ways you can use this self-awareness to your advantage. Either you can list a bunch of things that bring you joy, and try to incorporate some/all of them into your habits.
OR, you can reflect on your biggest challenges and then consider what sort of habit would support you in healing/overcoming/dealing with this particular challenge.
Ideally, I would recommend a mixture of both. For example, I love to dance, it brings me immense joy, therefore this is one of my self-love habits.
I also know that I am prone to negative thought patterns, so I use affirmations (not something I overly enjoy) because I know it is exactly the medicine for my particular ailment.
But, what if I don’t know myself very well? Good question! This is where the playful experimentation comes in.
Pick something (e.g. exercise, green smoothies, meditation), give it a try, reflect on it’s pros and cons, evaluate it’s effect on your life, and decide whether it’s worth keeping, tweaking, or ditching.
Continue to do this, in small, achievable increments, until you have got a few key habits that are having a big impact on your life. It might be helpful to keep a journal or diary for this process.
I now invite you to consider your self-love habits, either existing ones, or new ones you wish to implement. You can use the previous section Setting yourself up for Success, for some tips to follow. Remember to reflect on what you know about yourself – your joys and your challenges.
Sharing is caring!
If you have developed a new self-love habit, or have made some interesting discoveries along the way, I would love if you could share your discoveries with us in the comments below. This can be super helpful to those who are struggling to reflect on their own self-love habits and could learn from your wisdom.
p.s. If you’re ready to go deeper with your self-love journey, then check out my FREE 7-Days of Self-Love Challenge to bring self-love into your daily life in a fun and playful way #ItsASelfLoveThing
Self-Love and The Law of Attraction
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